No Art this Week

I had the whole week off this week. And I did no art, not one piece. I got a lot of other things accomplished. But I didn't do any art. This makes me wonder about why? Why do I not do art? It is what I long to do, or so I say. When I do make time to create, time flies and I feel great. I know that I have been distracted by getting ready for the PWTP training, Christmas, and a thousand other things. But the simple truth, one that I have always believed is that you do in life that which is most important to you. So why do I not do art, especially when I have the time. It is what I think about almost constantly. I see pieces creating in my head. Why do I not just do them? I didn't have this problem when I was a costume designer. Was it because I always had deadlines? I had no choice but to produce and be creative. It was part and parcel of my life, my day, the fiber of my being. So, what is up now? I wonder if I should impose some deadlines on myself. What would those be? Perhaps get involved in some of the many art prompts? Maybe find a place to show my art...Put me on a deadline to actually create a body of work? Or maybe I should seriously consider selling my art. Or maybe I should just make a promise to draw every day, sketch a page in my sketchbook/journal, and work on an actual piece every day. Push myself to create finished pieces that are quality enough to sell, not just pieces that I am playing around with techniques or ideas. Or maybe, just like the nike commercial I should just quit whining and "Just do it".

I love what Swirly Girl says in a recent post about being accountable to her coach for the time she spends in her studio. It feels good to know that I am not alone in struggling with this thing of spending time in the studio. Thanks for being so honest and sharing this post with us! I am so amazed that something that I love to do, that fulfills me in ways that not much else does, that totally holds be spellbound when I actually do it, is so hard to commit time to.

But at the same time, a lot of the things that have been distracting me over the past few months have been "clearing out" kinds of things. Finishing up commitments that no longer are things I should be doing, cleaning out and setting up my studio, doing some deep cleaning and thinning out of stuff for mom, sorting through my life, keeping the things that are important or seem to be things God is calling me to do and letting go of the other things that are distracting me. It almost feels like it has been an incubation time for me. A time to finally say yes to things I need to do and no to all the things I have thought I should be doing. I have this quiet deep excitement and expectation for the new year that it will be like no other.

Ever year I re-read a book that I bought a couple of years ago called "The Gift of a Year". Basically it is about giving yourself the gift of concentrating and making time for one thing in your life for a year. Last year my gift was to concentrate on the issues behind my issues with food and giving myself the time to begin the road to health and fitness. Other Gifts have been give myself the gift of making time to journal everyday - something that I had let business rob me of for years. The year I moved back to care for mom - the first year after I bought the book my gift was to take the pressure off myself to find a job that was a career and take the time to mourn and heal from the death of my brother and a painful divorce that happened almost at the same time. It was wonderful, I didn't work for almost a year; when I did I finally took a job that was way out of my training, but was strictly a 40 hour a week job. This was the first job of that sort I had in over 20 years. That first year of being home, living and getting used to an adult full-time relationship with mom, where our roles sometimes switched to me being a caretaker, and healing only happened because I gave myself permission to not rush to find a job, but take time to settle in and heal.

I have been re-reading this book this week. I am pretty sure that this year I will have 2 gifts. Creating art on a daily basis...even if it means drawing a radish at work on my lunch hour in my sketch book. The other will be getting certified as a Pathway to Purpose Coach and Lifeplan facilitator and establishing a coaching clientele. These are not mutually exclusive, but actually will facilitate each other. Coaching is time flexible, will allow me to work pretty much from home, and also allow me time in the studio...Particularly at late night when I am most productive. I will not have to get up at the crack of dawn to be in the workplace....well eventually. I am sure that for most of this year I will still need to work full time at a bill paying job. Well I have rambled on and on...I need to get to bed. It is now New Year's Eve morning here, so Happy New Year's to everyone. May you have a very creative and fulfilling 2006! And to those who will be doing the Artist's Way with us I am excited to share this journey with you all.

Uploaded AEM work

I have finally uploaded some of my AEM scans from November's Art Everyday Month hosted by Kat. I have about a week left to scan. I just haven't had the time to scan and crop and get them uploaded. I am enjoying having some time off this week. I had planned to work in my studio, but spent the day taking a nap, doing paper work, scanning and uploading the images and working on getting the final pre-reqs for my upcomming training to be a life purpose coach. But I hope to get the studio finished this week. It will be nice to have everything in one place, unpacked and organized ready to use!

Inspirations

I have been so inspired by several artists on the internet. Too many to list, I know that I will surely forget some, but I wanted to list them as a way to say thanks for generously sharing your work with the word, with those of us who wouldn't get to see your wonderful creativity if not for this wonderful connector called the WWW. Thanks to Kat for getting us all going in November with AEM and for sharing her wonderful art. Kat, I STILL want to be you when I grow up to be a "real" artist. (tee hee) Here are a few others that I check daily, in the early morning hours before my mind focuses, it is a way to start my day with beauty and encouragement; for inspiration both artistic and written, Check them out, you will like them too, I am certain.

• Kathryn you inspire me!
• Kirsten yes your art does inspire me...keep at it I love your creations
• Summer Piere living her dreams in the big Apple
• Andrea a superhero to me, even though she says we are our own superhero
• Christine yummy photos and beautiful words
• Kerri where does all those wonderful ideas come from??
• Katherine Dunn lavender and art, what a life!
• Ninth Wave Designs wonderful art created in moleskines!

There are so many more, but the links are at home so will have to wait until later to be included. Check back and I will update.

Next week I will have some time off and am anxiously looking forward to finishing the set up of my studio! whoo hoo...can't wait! A place to create!

Progress

I spent the whole day Saturday in my studio organizing and unpacking. It was snowing like mad out and it was nice to just give myself permission to just stay home and inside all day and be in my studio. I indulged in one of my silly time-wasters all day too. I watched a whole week of General Hospital on the Soap Channel. I have watched this soap off and on my whole life it seem. I used to watch it with my grandma...she called them her "stories". During the famous "Luke and Laura" dynasty we actually had a TV in the costume shop at college and watched it. It was one of the only years that we had more students volunteer for the costume shop than we could keep busy! But somehow it worked to have it on as a background noise, while sorting through hundreds of collections of things; putting them into boxes, into order. It brought back memories of times past, listening to the characters, many of the same ones from years ago, were like listening to friends from childhood. But I have to say, they need new stories...and lives! They seem to be having the same life crisis that they did years ago. But then, sometimes so do I. (laugh)

I am almost finished with this move into my studio. I have a few more boxes to bring down from upstairs. There is some rearranging of furniture I think I want to make happen, but I might wait until I work some more in it to see how I work and what my needs are. I think that this is going to work well for me now though. I have a part of the room sectioned off by a half wall that I will be using for my sewing studio portion and a larger room do do my less messy art in. There is a room off of that one that has cement floor that Dad had used as a workshop (he left his wonderful antique wood workbench) that I will use for the more messy kinds of stuff. Off of that room is the laundry room with water and a sink. After I recover from purchasing hundreds (or so it seems) of plastic storage containers I will need to address light sources. I went to Home Depot last weekend to look at lighting options. Who knew how expensive lighting is?? Fortunately what I like and want is incandescent shop lighting...the kind that hangs from the ceiling with aluminum reflectors and lightbulbs. I hate fluorescent lighting. That is what is there now (growing up the basement was finished off to use as a family area...still very 70's looking, lighting is that fluorescent tubes with the frosted plastic insets in the drop ceiling). But lighting will have to wait. Any suggestions from anyone out there? I also am realizing that I need to invest in an easel. Can anyone tell me why artist's supplies are so expensive and making money at art is so illusive? The great paradox of my life.

I did get a bit of art done this weekend. I made a new soul-card; I will try to get it uploaded tonight. I also need to make time to get the rest of my AEM stuff posted soon. I loved doing that in November. Most of what I created was in my sketchbook. Next year I think I would like to challenge myself to create actual pieces of art, not just sketchbook stuff. But out of the sketch book came some ideas I want to develop into full blown pieces though, so it was all good.

Another Soul Card

This is the last of the first ones I created in early summer/late spring. I don't have a date on this one, but I remember making it. I was so frustrated with trying to find a job and everyone telling me that I was overqualified. I remember just feeling so angry, like give me a chance already!

Ideas and Blank canvases

I am having a time of it trying to live my work life and my art life. Lately I have been getting boat loads of ideas flash through my mind for art pieces at the strangest times. At work, at church, driving in the car. Unfortunately they travel through and out the other end faster than Superman's proverbial speeding bullet. I have a small moleskine "idea book" that I try to capture these ideas in. But many times I am not even in a place that I can stop to write them down. They frown on stopping for "creativity breaks" at work...driving and drawing is not so much on the safety side. So how to solve this problem? What do others do? By the time I get home in the evenings I sit down to a blank canvas and a blank mind.

Blank canvases and blank minds. If I were a morning person - I wonder if my mind wouldn't be so blank when I sit in my studio? But I guess at the end of the day it isn't so much about a blank mind as getting the mind to quiet and focus on creativity and let go of the day. Once I get started the whole world falls away. But getting started. Aye there's the rub! Yes I have tricks and rituals and routines that help. I do different things all the time. But still, eventually you face that blank canvas. I mean how many times can you make sure your pencils are all sharp, your drafting table is cleared off and the laundry is done!? Why is something I love to do so much something I also procrastinate at.

I have a theory that I have long held, particularly when I was making a living at costume design. Although that time looked like procrastination, it was actually a time I was processing all the research and synthesizing my ideas and mind meanderings into concrete design decisions. But now that I am no longer doing costume design, I still do these types of activities before I begin to actually create. Is this just habit, or is it still a precursor to getting down to the business of creating. I don't know, but it seems that if I don't corral this activity now, I may never get anything accomplished in the short time spaces I have free to create these days. It was different when I would have 2-3 days at a time to sit at my table and work on renderings for a show. Now that I have to have a market-place job, my art time is compressed into bits and pieces of early mornings (ya right!!) and evenings that are not filled with other responsibilities.

How do you all do it? Those of you who work full time in the marketplace and are still prolific with your creative output?

How do you capture those ideas that flit through your mind while you are busy doing things that are not art? This distresses me most; loosing all those ideas. Maybe most of them would never come to full fruition, but still, loosing the ideas....

It feels like my mind is in two lives at once. Half is present in the day to day doings of job, home, church, friends, etc. while the other half is always thinking about creating. Anyone else like that? Sometimes I completely go there, to that creative place, and the world goes mute, like a slowly fading radio volume. Now this is embarrassing when you finally realize that someone has been talking to you and you have no idea what they just said.

Speaking of work, gotta go do it. Sigh!

Soul Cards again

The one with the mirror reads "Conversations with a Mirror" and "I am your energy source. Make me Work for you. I have been dealing with body image issues, this is a reflection of this.


The other one reflects my dream to work full time as an artist, a creative person again. Something I am slowly working on.

More Soul Cards

These were created while I was training to walk a half marathon last winter and into the spring. I didn't get to walk it because I began to have muscle spasms in my back that took me out of training for several weeks. By the time I could get back to training there wasn't enough training time left to work back up to being able to walk the distance. But there is always next year.

Out of Practice

I recently purchased a Moleskine sketchbook online. I love it for pencil and pen, but am having challenges with using watercolors with it. Anyway I was at Borders today waiting for someone and started to sketch while I waited. I am so out of practice. I don't think that I have practiced the habit of daily sketching since I was a grad student and the required daily 5 was expected. I am not sure why I quit. I struggled with doing the sketching in school, always have. But there was no question that my skills improved when I kept at it. And of course when it came my time to be the instructor I required the "daily 5" as well, and my students groaned and struggled with it as much as I did. Sitting there today, trying to sketch, feeling rusty, feeling like my hand didn't know how to hold a pen, feeling like my eyes couldn't communicate to my hand I realized that it was time to challenge myself to the daily 5 again. I realize that at this time I will be lucky if I can get in one page of sketching a day, but if I challenge myself to 5 maybe, just maybe I will actually get out one full page a day. Wish me luck.

In addition to sketching I pulled out my old camera (pentax k1000) and then discovered a smaller camera that belonged to my brother (FUJI Discovery) This one has some gidgets and gadgets, but what interested me is the zoom lens. It is one of those auto focus lenses and looks to be an auto adjustable flash. There are these little card thingies you can put into a slot of the top that is suppose to help the flash I think for taking distance, close up, and low light/night pictures. I haven't had time to read the booklet that was with it yet, but I might do some experimenting with it. What attracts me to it is the size. I have been desiring a camera that I could throw into my art bag and have it with me all the time. This isn't quite small enough, (my art bag is pretty small right now due to back problems) but it was in a nice little shoulder bag that fits nicely over my shoulder cross wise for walking. As soon as I get the first roll developed, and if anything turns out I will post a few of them. I am in sore need of creating some images for my collage work. I am getting tired of trying to figure out copy right issues.

Soul Cards

These are a few of the cards inspired by the book by Seena B. Frost called SoulCollage. I don't really use them as she suggests. I use them as a way to pray particularly when the words won't come. They help me to clarify what may be going on in my life, to celebrate almost anything, or to visualize what I feel God may be speaking to me or even to create images of what I can't find words for as I pray.

I began working on them after reading about this book (although I haven't read it yet, it is on my list though) and looking at and being inspired by what others are creating as soul cards. The idea to use them as a form of prayer came out of a time when I was having difficulty bringing words into my prayers. About that time I discovered a prayer movement that started in England among the 20-some things in which they created a prayer room that was open for people to come to pray 24/7. Spontaneously people began to create art that reflected the prayers. I was excited by that thought - combining the two things in my life that breathed life into my soul - prayer and art. I feel that I have just begun to scratch the surface of this and how to use it in both my spiritual life and creative life.

This is the first one I created. On the back is the prayer or the scripture or the thought I was praying or what I sensed God was saying to me. This one was a very powerful one for me. I had been praying for direction and was coming to a place of beginnings and endings. The scripture that kept going through my mind was from Song of Solomon 2:10-11. I felt that God was saying to me "I am the one who opens doors, do not be afraid to walk through, my dreams for you are much larger than you can even begin to dream for yourself" (see Jer. 29:11)

This is the second one. Again I was praying for clarity and direction. I was also being frustrated with issues in my life where I felt out of control...I had been trying to do it alone, without God's help. I felt as I was praying and creating this that God was whispering into my heart to "Look into My true light. As you look into My light I will change you and show you the way you should go"

The scripture references are not ment to explain or support what I say, or try to prove any kind of doctrine. They were the scriptures that came to my mind as I was praying and creating these cards.

Meeting Sketches

Sitting in a dark room, early morning phone conference meeting, about stuff I know nothing about, not sure why I even needed to be here...to keep alert and listening to the monologue what's a girl to do but sketch..badly...in the dark.

Ideas Distracting me from My Job

do something with journal prompts

ab: legendary women

How do ideas come to us? I find that this is an ever-fascinating subject to talk about with other creatives. I used to think that I was some kind of wierd one...I would be in the middle of a conversation and someone would say something and an idea for a painting or a project would come to mind and zoom...there my mind would go and I would be gone from the conversation for minutes at a time while my inner eye saw the project progress. Now I find that many creatives are the same. Nice to know I am not alone in living an inner creative thought life.

But really, how ideas come is just part of the fun of creating. The problem is finding a way to capture those ideas as they come, because for me, as soon as they come, they are gone. I need to record them in some fashion. I always think that I will remember them, but I don't. Over time I have solved some of the problems with this. I keep a sketch book at my bedside with a flashlight and pen to jot ideas or sketches down when they wake me from sleep or I dream about them. At work I discreetly keep a 3x5 post-it note pad to jot ideas down (if I don't I would never get anything done at work). And of course I have a journal and a sketch book/sketch journal that I carry with me. But I am currious about how others deal with this delema. Sometimes the journal/sketch book/post-it-notes are clunky. And what do you do while driving?? I get lots of my ideas while driving...but I am not one who can drive and write at the same time...and you wouldn't want me to either!!

Any suggestions?