No Art this Week

I had the whole week off this week. And I did no art, not one piece. I got a lot of other things accomplished. But I didn't do any art. This makes me wonder about why? Why do I not do art? It is what I long to do, or so I say. When I do make time to create, time flies and I feel great. I know that I have been distracted by getting ready for the PWTP training, Christmas, and a thousand other things. But the simple truth, one that I have always believed is that you do in life that which is most important to you. So why do I not do art, especially when I have the time. It is what I think about almost constantly. I see pieces creating in my head. Why do I not just do them? I didn't have this problem when I was a costume designer. Was it because I always had deadlines? I had no choice but to produce and be creative. It was part and parcel of my life, my day, the fiber of my being. So, what is up now? I wonder if I should impose some deadlines on myself. What would those be? Perhaps get involved in some of the many art prompts? Maybe find a place to show my art...Put me on a deadline to actually create a body of work? Or maybe I should seriously consider selling my art. Or maybe I should just make a promise to draw every day, sketch a page in my sketchbook/journal, and work on an actual piece every day. Push myself to create finished pieces that are quality enough to sell, not just pieces that I am playing around with techniques or ideas. Or maybe, just like the nike commercial I should just quit whining and "Just do it".

I love what Swirly Girl says in a recent post about being accountable to her coach for the time she spends in her studio. It feels good to know that I am not alone in struggling with this thing of spending time in the studio. Thanks for being so honest and sharing this post with us! I am so amazed that something that I love to do, that fulfills me in ways that not much else does, that totally holds be spellbound when I actually do it, is so hard to commit time to.

But at the same time, a lot of the things that have been distracting me over the past few months have been "clearing out" kinds of things. Finishing up commitments that no longer are things I should be doing, cleaning out and setting up my studio, doing some deep cleaning and thinning out of stuff for mom, sorting through my life, keeping the things that are important or seem to be things God is calling me to do and letting go of the other things that are distracting me. It almost feels like it has been an incubation time for me. A time to finally say yes to things I need to do and no to all the things I have thought I should be doing. I have this quiet deep excitement and expectation for the new year that it will be like no other.

Ever year I re-read a book that I bought a couple of years ago called "The Gift of a Year". Basically it is about giving yourself the gift of concentrating and making time for one thing in your life for a year. Last year my gift was to concentrate on the issues behind my issues with food and giving myself the time to begin the road to health and fitness. Other Gifts have been give myself the gift of making time to journal everyday - something that I had let business rob me of for years. The year I moved back to care for mom - the first year after I bought the book my gift was to take the pressure off myself to find a job that was a career and take the time to mourn and heal from the death of my brother and a painful divorce that happened almost at the same time. It was wonderful, I didn't work for almost a year; when I did I finally took a job that was way out of my training, but was strictly a 40 hour a week job. This was the first job of that sort I had in over 20 years. That first year of being home, living and getting used to an adult full-time relationship with mom, where our roles sometimes switched to me being a caretaker, and healing only happened because I gave myself permission to not rush to find a job, but take time to settle in and heal.

I have been re-reading this book this week. I am pretty sure that this year I will have 2 gifts. Creating art on a daily basis...even if it means drawing a radish at work on my lunch hour in my sketch book. The other will be getting certified as a Pathway to Purpose Coach and Lifeplan facilitator and establishing a coaching clientele. These are not mutually exclusive, but actually will facilitate each other. Coaching is time flexible, will allow me to work pretty much from home, and also allow me time in the studio...Particularly at late night when I am most productive. I will not have to get up at the crack of dawn to be in the workplace....well eventually. I am sure that for most of this year I will still need to work full time at a bill paying job. Well I have rambled on and on...I need to get to bed. It is now New Year's Eve morning here, so Happy New Year's to everyone. May you have a very creative and fulfilling 2006! And to those who will be doing the Artist's Way with us I am excited to share this journey with you all.